Some people, it seems, were born into certain careers. Mozart couldn’t be anything other than a composer, with his gift for music. And with her ready laugh, chatty nature and deep empathy, Paula Burr was meant to care for others.

Burr, 48, is a Home Care Aide for the Korean Women’s Association in Shelton, Wash. She’s also been a manager at an ARC home and a nursing home.

“It’s just in me,” she says “I’m a caregiver. I try to make sure everybody is okay. I don’t think I’ll ever give it up.”

Burr also has a knack for connecting. She recalls one consumer had been labeled “rude” in the past by other caregivers – but he’d had a stroke (which can cause personality changes), and was in a wheelchair, without any use of his legs. She found something in common with this challenging consumer. “We both liked classic rock, we both liked NASCAR. We’d watch car races together, but root for different racers,” she says.

What’s her secret? She finds something in common with her consumers, while completing the service plan. “I can understand what they’re going through,” she says. Her own diagnoses have helped her to become a better Home Care Aide. “I have my medical issues too. Maybe not the same things they have, but I understand their pain or grouchiness.”

The Value of Personal Care

In 2009, Burr’s legs started feeling like they were “buzzing,” along with her arms, then both would shake. At night, the pains in her legs would get so bad that she would wake from sleep, screaming.

Her physician diagnosed her with neuropathy, a condition involving nerve damage that causes tingling, burning and loss of sensation in the legs and arms. She was also diagnosed with high blood pressure and diabetes.

Something had to change, Burr thought. Her mother died of a heart attack at age 54. She has a husband and children to love and consumers to care for. “I want to be around,” she says. “I don’t want to go young. I want to spend time with my daughters and my grandbaby.” Burr’s children are 29, 18 and 16.

So in the past several years, she’s made big changes. She walks two miles about every other day in her neighborhood. “I love the outdoors,” she says. She broils her chicken instead of frying it. She’s switched from sugary sodas to watermelon tea and sparkling lime water.

Paula Burr takes a brisk walk through Evergreen Park in Bremerton. She exercises on a regular basis to maintain her health. Photos by Inye Wokoma

Her weight dropped from 217 to 170, and she’s feeling healthier than ever.

There are challenges, of course, too – especially around smoking. But Burr has cut down her smoking from two packs a day to a half-pack. When smoking, she will smoke half a cigarette, and try to toss the other half. It’s a process.

She’s also battled with a very personal demon – alcohol. For years, she used alcohol to numb the pain. But one day, about four years ago, she woke up and decided to start over.

Burr remembers today, the moment she awoke in bed and said, ‘I’m done.’ ” She realized she could start fresh.

“I’m a strong person,” she says. “If I put my mind to something, I do it.” She’s been living clean for three years now. Her only regret? “I wish I would’ve done it sooner,” she says. “But I didn’t love myself then, so how could anybody else love me?”

Someone certainly does loves her. Stan – her husband of four years – is 6’1” and towers over the 5’4” Burr. He’s been her rock and partner-in-life. Together, they went clean. Together, they go for walks in their Belfair neighborhood. He worries about her health and how soon she might need to walk with a cane.

But darker feelings still haunt Burr at times. She’s lost many people in her life – friends, family – and cared for her mother-in-law until she passed away. She was in a severe car accident in 1998 that killed her ex-boyfriend and father of her children.

She tries to move past the difficult feelings by throwing herself into activities. “If I stay depressed, it’s not going to do anybody any good,” she says.

Busy Hands

To combat stress and sad moments, Burr throws herself into life with zest and excitement. “I’ll work as many hours as they give me,” she says, in her day job. She doesn’t want to give up on putting in her hours, no matter how she ages or if her health worsens.

“I want to keep working until it’s either a risk to my consumers or my health. My consumers come first,” she says. “There are people worse off than I am. I will not stop working or doing what I’m doing. Even once I’m no longer mobile, I can still volunteer or talk to people. I love to talk.”

So she likes chatting with friends. And she has her art – she doodles, uses pens to fill in complex patterns in grown-up coloring books, and threads beads to craft earrings and necklaces. “I get bored fast,” she says, with a laugh.

Using a knitting loom, she also knits hats for people with cancer, a hobby she picked up from her mother-in-law, who eventually died from the disease. She crafts warming hats of all sizes for RadiantCare consumers. RadiantCare is the facility that cared for Burr’s mother-in-law until she passed away.

She keeps her mind active, as well. She’s visited most of the museums in Bremerton, and makes daytrips to Seattle to visit the art museum.

One consumer compared meds with Burr and found they were on the same prescription. “Why are you still working?” the consumer asked.

“Because I love to work,” Burr said. She was meant to care for others. And now she knows how to care for herself, as well.